by Angus "Andrea" Grieve-Smith

Category Archives: Personal news

The Power of Glamour and transgender feelings

Seven years ago I talked about the notion of glamour as described by Virginia Postrel. Virginia has been working on a book about glamour, and it was published on Monday. Here’s the definition from the book (as of last year): Glamour is not the same as beauty, stylishness, luxury, sex appeal, or celebrity. Glamour is, […]

Gender fog update

It’s really hard for me to write this post, because it’s not my highlight reel. I worry that someone might read this and use it to undermine my credibility on issues that are not really related to it. I worry that people might make incorrect assumptions about me based on this. Still, I think it’s […]

12 things this gender-non-conforming child wanted you to know

This article was clearly well-intentioned, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. I was a gender-non-conforming child, and overall I agree with most of those, but I would never have put them that way. I most definitely do not sign onto Duron’s #1, and I wouldn’t have when I was a child. If you […]

What’s keeping me awake at night

I have real reasons to be happy about my excursion on Saturday. I have a great friend. My co-workers are super cool. But that’s not how gender fog works with me. Instead, it keeps me up all night thinking about things like this: I’ve lost so much weight! I wonder if I’m a 38C or […]

Gender fog

You may have heard about “gender fog.” Also known as “pink fog,” “pink cloud” or “gender euphoria,” it’s an intense emotion that many transgender people experience around a significant event. I used to get it when I tried on a new outfit, particularly a kind that I had fantasized about (when I was a teenager, […]

Living in the highlight reel

Steven Furtick, a Christian cleric who has publicly condemned homosexuality, has nevertheless come up with a great metaphor to help us understand insecurity. One reason we struggle w/ insecurity: we’re comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel. — Steven Furtick (@stevenfurtick) May 10, 2011 Building on Furtick’s metaphor, it occurred to me […]

I will die a man

Back in 2004 I lost my father, who had been there for me since I was born. In May I unexpectedly lost Ed Kossoy, the man who joined my mother in raising me from when I was twelve. If you think saying goodbye to one father makes you think about your own mortality, you can […]

Be careful, you’ll put an eye out!

I just looked at this package in my cosmetics collection. It says, Jean-Pierre Cosmetics Eye & Make Up Remover Cleansing Towelettes It’s not a short-term glitch; that’s the official name of the product. I had already used it when I noticed this, but I double-checked, and it didn’t remove any of my eyes. Whew! I […]

Banned, huh?

Apparently I’ve been banned from the My Husband Betty message boards.  As far as I can tell, I didn’t violate any rules, and I haven’t received any explanation other than the mention of a particular comment that I made.  Well, I’m angry about it, but I know that things said in anger can come back […]

Coming Out at American Express

(Originally posted January 24, 2004) From the moment I first slipped on a pair of my sister’s nylons when I was eleven years old, I knew that my cross-dressing was a shameful, dangerous practice, and that people would rather that I kept it secret. When I was twenty-four, I decided that I was tired of […]