1. Dear Andrea
    Having spent the past hour or two reading your entire blog, I need to thank you for your insight, incisiveness and reasonable approach to all of the issues. As someone who has and continues to stuggle with being trans and spanning the time from the 1950s and being heavily closeted and filled with desire to be and be with girls from as early as I can remember to now, still with same feelings but encumberedby shame and internalized t-phobia, I am always looking for answers. You are right a middle ground is hard if not impossible and difficult to deal with each and every day. Unfortunately, if one is progressively entangled with gender, marriage, children, career, military service and community it becomes a maze not easy to negotiate or even see the light at the end of the tunnel or even find a way to try different paths. Often I wonder why some can progress to a tolerable if not pleasant place and some can’t. I think it probably has to do with early childhood environment and how much internalized shame and humiliation results from this and how much external support there has been over the years. Regardless, I thank you for your thoughts about the issues and continue to write.

  2. Thanks, Dana! I’m glad you found my blog helpful. I think you’re probably right that internalized shame plays a big role in how well we’re able to find a place to settle.

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